Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Ohhh, Facebook: poor poor pitiful me, lord have mercy on me

Remember this little jewel from 1996? She even rocks a cowbell.  MORE cowbell!!  FLASHBACK alert!!

 Yes, this is the song that comes to mind when I look at facebook some days.  I've noticed an influx of people who get on facebook JUST to complain....allllll the time, just complaining.  Every day they have a new ailment, one day they complain 3 times about how busy they are, then the next day they are whining about being soooo bored. These people really get on my nerves I feel really sorry for them, so I came up with some tips: 

1) Sick (again, for the 10,000th time since January):  go to the doctor. there's a good chance you are a hypochondriac

2)  WAY too busy today, not enough hours in the day!!:  get off facebook complaining about how busy you are, you'll get a lot more done

3)  Today you're bored:  get a job. it takes up a ton of time.

4)  Someone did you wrong and you are venting on FB but refusing to name names: okay, first, this is not CSI.  i'm not a detective, so stop posting ridiculous paragraphs about "phony" people and really wanting everyone to guess who you are talking about but refusing to just flat out say it.  just because you are FB friends, doesn't mean you are actual real life friends. just de-friend them on FB and in real life. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

ohhhhh teen mom

Just thought I'd share a few thoughts on tonight's episode of Teen Mom . . . mainly because I'm stuck in a 3rd rate Best Western in the manure capital of the world, a.k.a. Hereford, TX and I have nothing better to do.
1. Farrah:  in the same episode is needing social security and a loan for a breast augmentation.  funny how those two should NOT go hand in hand.  as long as it's for "sophia's future" i guess it's totally okay.  i can definitely see how farrah's size Cs will help sophia in life.  and to top it off she is sooo mean to her sweet dad who is trying to help her . . . .  okay you little diva . . . i guess being a teen mom star puts you above the help . . . i mean your parents.

2.  Amber:  WHAT a heartbreaker!  i mean if i had only known 10 years ago that overplucked eyebrows, half a can of white rain in a slicked back high ponytail, refusing to buy sheets for my mattress, and punching my chubby easter bunny boyfriend in the face every few days would get me 2 guys fighting for me i would have been MAJOR in my high school years.  ahhhh well, hind sight is always 20/20. 

3.  Maci:  ohhhh Maci, there are just some things you don't EVER tell your boyfriend.  for example, that your baby daddy thinks he's "slow" . . . just a little helpful relationship advice, i think dr. phil would agree.

4.  Catelyn and Tyler:    this says it all . . . . .  
Catelyn:  "omg mom someone tried to break in my window."
Mom:  "so."
Catelyn:  "can you come look, it's like really scary?!"
Mom:  "so what do you want me to do?  like freakin protect you or somethin?"

hmmmm wellllll, that would be quite a marvel idea - to protect your children.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Birthday America

Thanks to my friend Bekah, I was reminded of the perfect way to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to America this evening.  Most of all you fellow Americans need to be thanking Rachael Parnell for reminding you how proud you are to be an American tonight, and here's the reason why....  Call me crazy, but I <3 karaoke.  When Nate and I decided to have a small wedding on the beach in Destin with just family and a few close friends I couldn't think of a better way to make it more redneck  casual and fun than to find a DJ that also offered karoke.  This was, perhaps, the best decision I made.  See the proof below.

Rachael told me on my wedding night that she forgot to bring me a gift.  I told her that her presence was all that I could've hoped for.  Then I changed my mind.  I wanted a gift.  A REALLY good gift.  And there's nothing I wanted more than for her to sing us a song.  The DJ didn't have my first pick, and her ALL TIME best performance to date, "Daddy's Hands,"  but he did in fact have the song "Proud To Be An American." 

Eat your heart out Celine Dion.  There's a new star on the horizon.

Happy Birthday, America.  This is for you.